Are you tired of being the pushover at your workplace? You have so many things to say to your bullying boss, but when the time comes, do you feel like you choke and let your boss treat you like a doormat? Are you finding it difficult to say no to your manager or your colleagues and have this uncontrollable need to please everybody and be perceived by everyone as being nice?
You are not alone and we can call this the Nice Guy syndrome. As little boys, we often have to choose between two ways to get our needs met. On one side we can be aggressive, cut the line and bully others to get what we want. Or we repress our anger and aggression, play nice and try to manipulate others with our niceness to give us what we want.
For a lot of men who grew up as emotionally sensitive boys, there is an innate fear of anger and aggression. This can also be true for those who were bullied in school. Often we are unable to distinguish between healthy anger and aggressive behaviour and we don’t want to be seen as an angry person.
Though, anger is an emotional response that tells us that our personal boundary has been crossed in some way. It could be real or perceived. When we are connected with our anger and are able to express it in a healthy way, then we are able to defend and enforce our boundaries.
I work with men in helping them recover from the Nice Guy syndrome. This can be done by reconnecting them with their healthy anger and to learn ways of communicating in an assertive way, which would give them the best chance to get their needs met, without being aggressive.
I often use concepts and exercises from the world of Non-Violent Communication, as popularized by Marshall Rosenberg, to help men become more assertive at their workplaces and in their personal relationships.
If you want to be able to stand up to your boss and your colleagues and want to learn how to be assertive, without being aggressive, then contact me for a free 30-min phone consultation and we will go from there.